In the 18th Century, Robert Burns penned the line “O wad some Power the giftie gie us, to see ourselves as others see us!” Or, in modern English, “What if we had the gift of feedback to see ourselves as others do?”
This idea is at the centre of personal development and growth: How do we learn about our impact, how do we ask for feedback, how do we self-reflect? This selection of tools and frameworks will enable you to start to think about this in ways that can support and grow strengths and to identify areas for personal change.
Patterns of Communication and Impact
It has always been my belief that if we each take responsibility for our impact and are honest enough to hear feedback, then we can grow as people and as leaders. Transactional Analysis helps us to understand our responses to the communication and behaviours of others and to reflect on why we respond the way we do.
We can all get hooked by the communication and behaviours of others, especially if they reconnect with old tapes and patterns of behaviour. Leaders need to minimise the impact of the assumptions that they have about others, maximise listening, and importantly maximise the impact of leadership communication.
In the early 1950s, Dr Eric Berne developed a theory about personality development tied to communication, which he called ‘Transactional Analysis’ (TA). It is a very useful and fascinating framework for analysing the behaviour (transaction) of both ourselves and other people.
In this model, Berne identified that we all communicate from what he called EGO STATES.
Parent State: Controlling Parent (CP), Nurturing Parent (NP)
The parent in TA is the set of recordings in a person’s mind of imposed, unquestioned, external events perceived between birth and age five. They are derived mostly from parents’ (or parental figures’) speech and behaviour – admonitions, punishments, cuddles, and encouragement. Berne says they are permanent and cannot be erased, and at intervals throughout our lives they will be played back to influence our behaviour.
It is sometimes described as ‘Life as it is taught’.
Child State: Natural/Free Child (NC), Adapted Child (AC)
The child in TA consists of recordings of internal events (feelings) experienced in the first five years of life in response to external events. Berne says that, like parental recordings, those in the child are permanent and can easily be triggered by events in adult life so as to influence behaviour. When behaving in our child state we think, feel, and do as we did when we were small – we are free/natural, creative, experimental, joyful and playful – we are obedient, rebellious, insecure, anxious and scared – adaptive so our needs are met. It is sometimes known as ‘Life as it is felt’.
Adult State: Adult (A)
Data acquired and computed through exploring, thinking out and testing ideas. It is sometimes known as ‘Life as it is tested’. When behaving in our adult state we operate in the ‘here and now’, are rational and unemotional. We seek information, respect other people, and are assertive and considered in our communication.
We all function in all of the states. There is no right answer!
Listen to Fiona talk about Transactional Analysis.
We appreciate that many of you have completed learning around TA before. However, we consider it to be a central part of how you understand yourself and your responses ‘as a facilitator’. Therefore, it has a different focus.
Please complete the questionnaire and then use the reflection grid to think about the impact of your preference on your role as a facilitator.
Resource: Transactional Analysis Questionnaire
Ladder of Inference
Chris Argyris developed the ladder of inference as a tool for double-loop learning – learning that produces a change in values and assumptions, not just behaviour change. The ladder of inference can be used for different purposes: to reflect on your emotional reactions, to facilitate the discussion of substantive issues, and to give people feedback. It provides a guide for effective advocacy and inquiry and sits comfortably alongside Transactional Analysis.
We live in a world of self-generating beliefs that remain largely untested. We adopt those beliefs because they are based on conclusions, which are inferred from what we observe, plus our past experiences.
Our ability to achieve the results we truly desire is eroded by our feelings that:
-
- Our beliefs are the truth
- The truth is obvious
- Our beliefs are based on real data
- The data we select are the real data
The key points for using the ladder of inference to promote productive conversation and effective action are:
- Be aware of your reasoning steps, publicly check your inferences, and encourage others to do the same
- Look for information that challenges your own and others’ assumptions and beliefs
- Be aware of how your own actions become information that others use to make inferences about you so that you can change
Helpful additional information
Watch a few short films.